Why do these messages sound so plain?

Because plain messages get plain answers. Warmth is fine when it is genuine; what starts arguments is blame, history and sarcasm, and those are what these templates leave out.

Can I use these if we get on well?

Yes. A clear request with a date is a courtesy in any relationship. Add as much friendliness as feels natural.

Co-parenting message examples

How to use these

Each template below is deliberately plain: a fact, a request, a date. Copy one, change the details, and send it. If you want to check your own version first, the tone checker at the bottom of the page will tell you what might land badly.

Schedule and swaps

Requesting a swap

Hi. Could we swap weekends on 26–27 April? I have a work commitment on the Saturday. I can take the following weekend, 3–4 May, in return. Could you let me know by Wednesday?

Confirming an arrangement

Confirming: you'll have Sam from Friday 12th after school until Monday 15th drop-off at school. I'll pack his football kit.

Running late

Running about 20 minutes late, traffic on the A road. Should be there by 5.20. Sorry.

When they are late

You arrived at 6.40 today; the agreed time is 6. Can we stick to 6 on Fridays? If it's going to be later, a message before 5.30 helps me plan.

School and health

School news

Parents' evening is Thursday 20 March, 4–7pm. The school books slots online; here is the link: [link]. Do you want to go together or separately?

Illness

Ella has a temperature of 38.4 and stayed home today. I've given her paracetamol at 8am and 2pm. She's fine but tired. I'll update you tonight.

Appointments

Leo has a dentist appointment on Tuesday 8th at 3.30 at the usual practice. I'll take him and send you the outcome afterwards.

Money

Asking for a shared cost

The school trip on 14 May is £48. Half is £24. Could you transfer it by the 30th so I can pay the school? Reference 'trip'.

Chasing a payment

Following up on the £24 for the school trip; it hasn't arrived yet and the school deadline is Friday. Could you send it today?

Holidays

Proposing a holiday split

For the summer, I'd suggest you have the first three weeks (20 July to 10 August) and I have the second three (10 to 31 August). Here is the calendar: [link]. Does that work? I'd like to agree by the end of February so we can both book.

Travel details

We're going to Cornwall from 3 to 10 August, staying at [address]. I'll send the number of the place we're staying. She'll have her phone and we'll call Wednesday at 6.

Boundaries

Ending a conversation

I've said what I can on this. I'm not going to discuss it further by message. Let's keep to the practical things.

Declining to discuss your private life

That's not something I'm going to discuss. On the kids: pick-up is 5pm on Friday as usual.

Introducing a partner

I want to let you know that the kids will meet my partner, [name], at the weekend. Nothing is changing with the schedule. Happy to answer any questions about it.

Check your own message

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Keep them in one place

Requests, confirmations and updates scattered across texts, emails and voicemails are how "you never told me" happens. PeaceParent keeps every message, schedule change and decision in one thread that both of you can see, with Tone Guard checking each message as you write it.