Where is the best place for a handover?

School or nursery, where possible: the child moves between homes without the parents meeting. Otherwise a neutral public place, or the kerb outside one home.

How long should a handover take?

A few minutes. Practical information goes in writing beforehand; the handover is for goodbye and hello.

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Guides·4 min de lecture·Mis à jour le 2 septembre 2026

Child handover checklist

A printable checklist for changeover day: what goes in the bag, what to say, what to write down, and how to keep the handover itself short and calm.

Ce guide est pour l’instant disponible en anglais.

The goal: short, calm, uneventful

A good handover is one the child barely notices. Bags are ready, nothing needs discussing, the goodbye is warm and quick, and the parents either do not meet at all or exchange a few civil words. Everything that would take longer than a minute belongs in a message sent beforehand.

The checklist

Tick items off on the screen, or print it and stick it by the door. Nothing you tick is stored anywhere.

Where and when

School or nursery whenever possible. One parent drops off, the other collects, and the child moves between homes without the adults meeting. On most schedules this covers the majority of changeovers.
A neutral public place for weekend or holiday handovers: a café, a supermarket car park, a library. Somewhere with other people, where nobody is on home ground.
The kerb, if it has to be a home. Bags handed over at the car; no one goes inside.
A fixed time, written down. "Friday 5pm" in the shared calendar, not "after work".

What to say

Very little. "Hi. Here's his bag; inhaler is in the front pocket. Have a good weekend." Practical information about health, homework or moods goes in a message before the handover, so it is written down and nobody has to remember it.

What to write down afterwards

One line in the record: the time, and anything unusual. "Fri 12 Apr, 5.10pm, all fine." Or "Fri 12 Apr, arrived 5.45pm, no message." The point is not to build a case; it is so that neither of you has to argue about what happened. The guide to documenting communication covers what is worth keeping.

Messages before the handover

The day before

Handover tomorrow at 5pm at school as usual. Mia has a spelling test on Monday; the words are in her bag. She's had a cold this week, nearly better. Anything you need me to pack?

If you will be late

Running about 15 minutes late, will be there by 5.15. Sorry.

Making it routine

Children cope with handovers best when they are the same every time: same place, same time, same bag, same goodbye. The shared calendar fixes the time and place; this checklist fixes the bag. In PeaceParent, the schedule and the pre-handover message live in the same place, and Tone Guard checks the message before it is sent.

Questions fréquentes

Where is the best place for a handover?: School or nursery, where possible: the child moves between homes without the parents meeting. Otherwise a neutral public place, or the kerb outside one home.
How long should a handover take?: A few minutes. Practical information goes in writing beforehand; the handover is for goodbye and hello.

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